


we've been promised this for years

by elphiethropp



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Weddings, ig??? - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-21
Updated: 2018-05-23
Packaged: 2019-03-22 07:47:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13759533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elphiethropp/pseuds/elphiethropp
Summary: Aaron's about to make the biggest mistake of his life. And Adam just might let him.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this has been in my drafts since july and i'm sick of looking at it tbh but when will ed bring back adam and give aaron the husband he deserves

If Aaron looked at himself in the mirror, he could almost fool himself into thinking he was happy. On the outside, he looked calm. Well, maybe not _calm_. He might have looked a little nervous -he was sweating buckets- but other than that he didn’t have a hair out of place. His suit was immaculate, his hair was combed, he had almost shaved. He looked exactly like a person should on the day of their wedding.

 It was the inside that he was worried about. His heart, beating a thousand times a minute. His stomach, twisting and turning and pulling itself apart, so it felt. It hadn’t felt like this last time. It had just felt _right_.

 He shook his head, trying to clear the thought away. People had wedding jitters all the time, he told himself sternly. And after everything they’d been through, wasn’t it perfectly normal that he’d be a little anxious? But things were going to be different this time. No more lies, either of them. They’d promised.

 And this time they were doing it right. It was natural that he wouldn’t be nervous about a wedding he didn’t know about until it happened, right? Especially given everything else that was going on at the time. This time, they had planned everything for months in advance- practically from the day they got back together, forcing any second thoughts out of his head.

 They’d booked a hotel: wedding in the chapel, reception in the bar, night in the honeymoon suite. Posh, expensive, not Aaron at all. But every time Aaron had tried to change something Robert had just frowned a little, and he had felt a swirl of guilt forming in his stomach, reminding him that it was his fault they had to even _have_ another wedding- if he hadn’t taken a whole year to forgive Robert, things might be different. And every time, he had given in, let Robert have what he wanted.

 Breathing deeply, he pushed the door open and returned to the main part of the hotel room, where he’d left half of his family.  Now, he found only Adam, slouched on a chair with 20 odd empty beer bottles around him. He stood up hastily when Aaron entered.

 “They’re not all mine,” He protested upon seeing Aaron’s raised eyebrows. “You were ages, mate. And you know how that lot get on special occasions.”

 “What, like a Thursday, you mean?” Aaron quipped. They both chuckled, and the tension in Aaron’s gut eased somewhat. “So where’d everyone go?”

 “They were getting antsy. I sent them down to reception to check on everything.” Adam had an odd look on his face as he looked at him, eyes wide and full of an emotion that Aaron couldn’t name. On another day he would have been disconcerted by that, but everyone had had similar looks today. Today, and last February, when they had done this the first time. So he smiled at Adam, and Adam smiled back, and for one second he felt light inside again.

 Of course, that second soon passed, and Adam pulled his gaze away and cleared his throat. “So. You ready, then?”

 He wasn’t. But then, he could stay in this room for the next year and not be ready, so what difference did it make? “Yeah.”

 Adam nodded slowly. “Good. That’s good.” But he didn’t move, or appear to be close to doing so.

 “Right, then.” Aaron said after a few moments of awkwardly waiting in silence.  “Let’s get this over with, yeah?” He moved towards the door, but paused again when Adam spoke.

 “Aaron-”

 “What?”

 “Don’t marry Robert.” Adam finally stepped forward, his voice almost pleading. Aaron took a second to recover from the shock- a fleeting, _impossible_ thought crossed his mind for just a second before he realised that Adam was just still upset about the cheating, and everything Robert had done. Which was fair- half of his family had already tried talking him out of it. But he had stood firm, and he thought everyone had accepted it. Right now, this was the last thing he needed.

 “We’re already married.” Aaron pointed out, hoping to avoid a fight.

 Adam scoffed. “You know what I meant.”

 “Adam. We’ve been through this.”

 “I know, but-”

“But nothing. Ad, I love him.”

“Aaron, mate, how can you? After all he’s done?”

 “I just do, alright?” Aaron’s voice was getting more heated by the second. He _wasn’t_ being defensive, he was just frustrated that Adam couldn’t accept his decision. And he didn’t want to think too hard about it, not today.

 “You can do better than him!”

 “Like who, Adam? Who else would want me?”

 Adam swallowed hard, and when he spoke again his voice was thick. “Any bloke would be lucky to have you.”

 Aaron couldn’t respond to that, so he scoffed and turned away to look in the mirror again. He looked exactly the same as he had five minutes ago, and he wasn’t quite sure why he had expected differently- just because his heart felt like he had just run a marathon, didn’t mean he’d look like that on the outside.

Adam hadn’t moved, and his eyes met Aaron’s in the mirror. They were pleading, and he could see tears start to form. Taking a deep breath, Aaron turned back around to face Adam, somehow ending up much closer than they had been before, faces only centimetres away.

 And, after a moment’s hesitation, Adam leaned in and kissed him. After another, Aaron found himself kissing him back. It was soft, and slow, and more comfortable than anything had made Aaron in a long time; oddly familiar even though Aaron was quite certain that they had never done _this_ before. Not for lack of trying, though –a cold night and a car crash spring to his mind- and certainly not for lack of wanting, at least on Aaron’s part. But they _couldn’t,_ Adam was married and Aaron was about to be, and oh god, _Robert was waiting_.

 That one thought made Aaron’s blood run cold and he finally, reluctantly, pulled away.

 Adam looked about as shocked as he felt, which was really saying something. But Aaron had no time to adjust, to take all of that in- even as he pulled away he found himself shaking his head, panicked. It wasn’t even that he didn’t want to, because he _did_ , he had never stopped wanting it. But in all of his dreams, the ways he imagined this could play out, wishes he knew would never come true, in all of that, he never imagined that it would happen at his _wedding_. That familiar guilt crept over him, now intensified by a thousand. He knew what it was like, remembered the stab to the chest that he felt every time Robert had lied to him, every time he had kissed Rebecca. He loved Sebastian like he was his own, but sometimes he still looked at him and all he could feel was the pain, and the betrayal.

Even after everything, Aaron refused to be the one to cause that. He was engaged. He wasn’t going to be disloyal.

So he stepped back. “Adam,” He started, but Adam cut him off, already accepting it.

“It’s fine.” He laughed weakly, trying to shrug it off, even with tears still on his cheeks. “I’m too late, aren’t I?”

Aaron paused awkwardly. “I have to go.”

“I know.”

“Aren’t you coming?”

Adam sniffed, and shook his head almost violently. “Look, I can accept it, Aaron. But don’t ask me to be happy for you and- and him. I can’t sit here and watch you sign your life away to someone who’s done nothing but hurt you.”

The words were like a dagger to Aaron’s stomach, but all he could do was let out a quiet and resigned “Okay.”, and turn around and walk out the door, flinching when he heard it close behind him.


	2. Chapter 2

Adam watched as the door closed, the dull thud sounding like a thunderclap to his ears, and cursed himself internally. He had tried, he really had. To say nothing, to just be there for Aaron. Support him as he made the biggest mistake of his life, over and over again. And he’d almost succeeded until they’d gotten to the hotel, seen the room, the chapel. The whole time he was looking at the way it was decorated, the seats, the flowers. Hell, even the suits. It all screamed ‘Robert’, and not ‘Robert and Aaron’.  Adam had found himself imagining what he’d do different if-

If it was him. If he was the one marrying Aaron. It had taken him so long to admit to himself that he liked men too, and now here he was imagining the wedding of him and his soon-to-be-married-again best friend.

 And he knew he had no right, he did. And if Aaron was marrying anyone else, someone who would treat him right, Adam would force himself to be okay, he would stand by him. Because if anyone deserved to be happy, it was Aaron Dingle.

 Over the past three years he’d seen Aaron build himself up so many times, finally reaching that happy point, only for Robert to beat him down again. And he hadn’t changed- this wedding was barely a _year_ after Robert decided Aaron wasn’t enough, and the permanent reminder was downstairs in an adorable baby-sized three-piece suit. And it was much less than a year since he’d found Aaron bloody, almost on the verge of passing out.

 No matter how much Aaron insisted he was in love, that things were better now, Adam lived in constant fear of finding his best friend- the man he _loved_ \- like that again.

 All because of that prick Robert Sugden.

 His phone buzzing in his pocket disrupted his thoughts. Victoria. He debated with himself for a second, before groaning and answering it. Vic barely let him before she was hissing down the phone at him.

 "Where are you? You know the wedding’s about to start.”

 “Uh, yeah. Change of plans, I can’t make it.”

 “What? Adam, you had one job. And it’s barely a job.”

 “What are you on about?”

“All you had to do was get Aaron here, I mean, Tip could do a better job-”

“Aaron’s not there?” A small, brief flicker of hope flickered in his chest, but was abruptly crushed when Vic continued.

“No, he’s here. He just doesn’t look too happy, you know, like one should on their wedding day. And you’re not here. You didn’t have some kind of fight, did you?”

“We- yeah, kind of.”

“Adam!” Vic exclaimed, clearly forgetting to be quiet for a second. “It’s his _wedding!_ ”

“Is it? I didn’t know, what with you saying it about fifty times in two minutes.”

“You really couldn’t have waited a day? Now he’s here looking like he’d rather be anywhere else, and-”

“Does he?” Adam can’t keep the eagerness out of his voice. “Has he said anything? How does he look?”

“Well, you can see how he looks yourself if you’d just get down here. Look,” and her voice softened considerably. “No matter what was said between you two, I’m sure Aaron would appreciate his best friend being there. You don’t wanna regret not being there for him."

Adam didn’t reply, instead let his mind wander to thoughts he knew he should give up on.  Aaron had made it perfectly clear where he stood, he wasn’t interested in him. The rational part of Adam knew that. But a smaller and much louder part thought: what if? If Aaron didn’t seem happy, then maybe he was having second thoughts. Maybe he would make a different choice.

It was absurd, and he knew it. But that tiny hopeful part of him was so loud. And Vic was right- he didn’t want to look back on this day and have any regrets. So, with a deep breath to steady his sudden onset of nerves, he hung up on Vic asking if he was still there, and started out of the door.

On the way to the chapel, Adam tried to work out what it was he was doing. Interrupt the wedding? Or talk to Aaron afterwards, let them work this out once and for all, however it goes? He had brief visions of himself bursting in and yelling ‘I object!’ at the exact moment they were asked, like he was in some kind of soap opera, and decided on the latter option.

 _Then why am I going in?_ He wondered as he reached the now-closed doors, but it was too late for that: his hands were opening the doors on autopilot, revealing Aaron and Robert already stood at the front, seemingly halfway through their vows. They both turned to look at him when he entered, along with half the guest. Robert scowled viciously, but Adam didn’t care- there was only one face he wanted to see, the face that was currently wearing a genuinely shocked expression. But when their eyes met, Aaron gave him a smile so slight, Adam couldn’t tell if he was doing it consciously. At that moment he didn’t give a shit about the plan or the wedding- all he wanted to do was run up and kiss him. That single second seemed to last forever.

But it didn’t. As soon as Robert had glared sufficient amount of daggers at him, he turned back to Aaron and continued his vows loudly and pointedly, reciting some shit about being faithful that Adam wanted to laugh at. But it worked, because Aaron turned back to face Robert and all of Adam’s confidence dried up. He took a seat where he was, several rows behind the last row of guests, and barely listened to the last lines of vows.

Until it got to Aaron’s part.

“Do you, Aaron Dingle, take this man to be your husband?”

Even from the back row, Adam could see the deep breath Aaron took, notice the way his hands were shaking.

“I…” Aaron said, and then he looked directly at Adam, whose heart stopped. For a tiny, wonderful second, Adam thought he might say no. But then he saw Aaron swallow, and he said “I do.” And he felt the crushing disappointment come upon him and dropped his head into his hands, barely able to breathe until not even thirty seconds later, Aaron called out “Wait!” and Adam’s head shot up again. The man clearly wanted to give him a heart attack.

“Is everything okay?” the officiant asked.

Adam glanced at Robert, who looked as if someone had slapped him in the face, and now he wanted to murder them. Aaron looked even more nervous than he had the whole day, but his voice didn’t shake as he said “I don’t, actually.”

“What?” Robert hissed at him, his hand clenched tight around Aaron’s wrist. Adam watched as Aaron shook it off, looking as surprised himself as everyone else felt.

“I said, I don’t.”

“You don’t want to marry him?” the bemused officiant asked.

“Yes. I mean, no.” Aaron took a sharp, deep breath. “Yes, I don’t want to marry him. I’m sorry,” and he now looked back at Robert for the first time. “I just can’t. You don’t- you don’t make me happy anymore, I’m _sorry_.” Aaron looked at the floor, and then turned away. Adam, not even aware that he’d stood up, started walking towards him, already full of questions. What did this mean? Did Aaron want to be with him? Or was it neither of them?

The rest of the guests began whispering and looking at each other, no one quite sure what was going. Adam couldn’t hear a word of it though: he was so focused on Aaron, who was walking towards him- surely that meant he was the reason?

But as he was halfway down the aisle, Robert seemed to unfreeze, and he caught Aaron’s arm, dragging him back.

“Aaron, you can’t do this.” He insisted. “You need me, I-”

Whether he was about to threaten or manipulate Aaron never quite became clear, because as Aaron was tugging his arm away, Debbie had stood up and punched Robert square in the face. Everyone gasped but the majority remained seated, obviously thoroughly enjoying the show. She had succeeded in making Robert let go of Aaron, though, and in the time it took Robert to recover, Cain stepped in between them and Aaron.

What happened next, Adam wasn’t quite sure of. Once he knew Aaron was safe, and once their eyes met again, everything else was simply background noise. Another two strides and they were inches away from each other, and Adam swallowed hard.

“So, are we doing this or what?”

Aaron nodded, still not tearing his eyes away from Adam’s. “That is, if you want to.”

Adam almost had to laugh. “If I want to?” He leant in for the second time that day, and gently pressed his lips to Aaron’s. Just for a second, before he breathed “Of course I want to.”

There was still chaos all around them, people were either theatrically gasping at this new development and wishing they’d brought popcorn, or else they were still trying to keep Robert away, but either way, at that moment neither Adam or Aaron gave a damn about anyone else. After nearly nine years, they had finally found their way to each other, and nothing else mattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This part was loosely based on episode 5215 of Home and Away, which is why So Much happens.


End file.
